Polyamory

Unified Poly Triad Symbol

I know it has been a long time since I have posted. I am, actually, posting from work! I just finished "watching" TV with my sister, and by watching, I mean I loaded the episode online with full closed captioning and she watched from home. We watched that Showtime reality show Polyamory; Married and Dating and I have to say, this was the perfect episode for me to watch as the first one.
In this episode, so many things I have been thinking about were addressed. And even some things I have discussed recently with Master as well.
A really good idea I got from this episode was the possibility of a "Poly Pot Luck," which is just gathering with local poly people for a good meal and fellowship. They used the word solidarity alot this week, and that is exactly what it seemed like they got out of th epot luck. Lots of like minded relationships getting together to talk about being poly and how they all "do poly."
There was a conversation between two members of two different relationships talking about their fears about coming out as poly, how their families would react and if they would accept them as poly and/or their other partners. It was nice to see that other poly families struggle with some of the same issus we do.
They also discussed the triad featured in the show and their pending commitment ceremonies, It is nice to know that other couples think about these issues.
They went over alot of things I think all poly individuals are faced with. From the difficulties with finding other poly couples to socialize with in their own area to coming out to commitment and family acceptance.
I would love to be able to find a community like they showed somewhere, but I also know the issues we all face, no matter where we live. The biggest seems to be the basic human desire for acceptance.

Truth Time

I took the plunge last night, in a way. I have been wanting to tell my bff about how happy I have been and the real reason for the happiness. When I thought about telling her, I was petrified that she would "run for the hills" and just leave me flat. It was a case of unfounded fear because it seems that, whenever things are going well in my life, something will come along and screw it up. So I was scared more than I realized that she would think I was wrong and give me the choice, her or Master.
But, last night, with Master's help, my bff was told about everything. She was informed about everything, my kinks, my status, Master's status, some protocols, Master's room downstairs, my little, everything.
She did not run, she was actually happy that I found my happiness, that I am fulfilled, that I am healing. She understands me more now, understands what makes me tick. Now that she has been informed about everything, she can watch out for me while I am away for the summer. She knows ans accepts me and what my relationship is like.
I am so glad Master was ok with helping me tell her about us. She didn't balk or run, she asked questions and was ok with it all.
I am glad I was able to share the truth with her. Next to Master and family, her opinions mean the most to me, and i am glad she is ok.

Worried

I know this is a slave blog, at least for now, but it is also a family blog. There is an issue that I just need to get off my chest and think aloud about. Everyone knows I am very close to my grandfather. He is the light of my life, the first man I ever really loved. Around him, I am the Italian Princess. Back in February, he was in a head on collision with a drunk driver and has been in a rehab hospital ever since. I just spoke to him and he didn't sound too good. His speech was slurred, he couldn't remember anything from the month around the accident, he didn't remember if he called me for my birthday, he was getting confused, he called me by the wrong number (I am PG#1, and he called me PG#4, family joke is he numbers the kids so he doesn't have to remember names, but he has never forgotten numbers, ever). He couldn't remember which of my uncles picked him up for a BBQ on Sunday or where he went. I am worried and scared. I really don't know what I would do without Grandpa. He kept the family together when Grandma passed, even though they were no longer married, he still loved her until the day she took her last breath. I just don't know what I would do. I don't like to think about the possibility, even though I know it is inevitable. There is still so much he has left to teach all of us. Even though they were no longer married, Grandpa taught me what it is to really love someone, no matter what happens, to really love someone. He was the first one to encourage me to enlist, to marry a military Man, to follow Him all over the world, to support Him. He was the first one I would call with good news. If something happens to Grandpa, I don't want to think about it. I got off the phone with him and cried, the man I spoke to didn't seem like my Grandpa. He is different, he has changed. I am so scared, so worried. I don't want to think about the last two times one of my grandparents went into the hospital. All of this because of a drunk driver who hit his car. I am so scared, I can't imagine a world where I can't just call Grandpa, a world where i can't ask his opinion or get his thoughts on something. I am so worried. Worried for Grandpa, worried for the family, for my mom and her siblings. I am worried about what it would do to them if something happened. I am scared about going on without him, worried about not having him here. I just don't know what to do. I want my grandpa back, the grandpa I knew, the grandpa I grew up with....