Worried

I know this is a slave blog, at least for now, but it is also a family blog. There is an issue that I just need to get off my chest and think aloud about. Everyone knows I am very close to my grandfather. He is the light of my life, the first man I ever really loved. Around him, I am the Italian Princess. Back in February, he was in a head on collision with a drunk driver and has been in a rehab hospital ever since. I just spoke to him and he didn't sound too good. His speech was slurred, he couldn't remember anything from the month around the accident, he didn't remember if he called me for my birthday, he was getting confused, he called me by the wrong number (I am PG#1, and he called me PG#4, family joke is he numbers the kids so he doesn't have to remember names, but he has never forgotten numbers, ever). He couldn't remember which of my uncles picked him up for a BBQ on Sunday or where he went. I am worried and scared. I really don't know what I would do without Grandpa. He kept the family together when Grandma passed, even though they were no longer married, he still loved her until the day she took her last breath. I just don't know what I would do. I don't like to think about the possibility, even though I know it is inevitable. There is still so much he has left to teach all of us. Even though they were no longer married, Grandpa taught me what it is to really love someone, no matter what happens, to really love someone. He was the first one to encourage me to enlist, to marry a military Man, to follow Him all over the world, to support Him. He was the first one I would call with good news. If something happens to Grandpa, I don't want to think about it. I got off the phone with him and cried, the man I spoke to didn't seem like my Grandpa. He is different, he has changed. I am so scared, so worried. I don't want to think about the last two times one of my grandparents went into the hospital. All of this because of a drunk driver who hit his car. I am so scared, I can't imagine a world where I can't just call Grandpa, a world where i can't ask his opinion or get his thoughts on something. I am so worried. Worried for Grandpa, worried for the family, for my mom and her siblings. I am worried about what it would do to them if something happened. I am scared about going on without him, worried about not having him here. I just don't know what to do. I want my grandpa back, the grandpa I knew, the grandpa I grew up with....